Valentine's Day

I know that I planned to only write about the funny things that come out of Matthew's mouth, but every now and then things happen to me that just don't happen to normal people. For example, Valentine's Day...... A day of love, romance, a toilet, and a deer. What...what the WHAT?

My husband and I were reminiscing last night about Valentine's Day 2004, when we were renovating our house. This wasn't just a normal renovation, this was gutting the entire house down to a frame and building it all over again. I still say we would have been better off just running over the house with a large bulldozer and starting all over, but I digress. We were 3 months away from getting married, trying to get house ready enough to live in, and were shelling out a lot of money for all this crap. Instead of getting each other presents for Valentine's Day, we got the practical thing for our house....a toilet. Yes, a toilet. I wasn't exactly thrilled about this decision, but hey, you gotta do what you gotta do. Oddly enough, buying a toilet for Valentine's Day wasn't the weirdest thing that happened that day.

We had our mighty throne in the back of the pick-up truck, taking it back to our "house." We were within several hundred feet of our driveway when a large deer jumped into the road, and the car coming in the other direction smashed right into it. You might think he'd stop to see what damage was done, but no...this guy just kept on like it was a normal occurance. (I live in the middle of nowhere, so perhaps it is.) This poor deer wasn't dead, it was on the side of the road trying to run into the woods, but my husband decided he must put the poor thing out of its misery. Actually, I think he yelled something about a huge rack before he threw the truck in park on the side of the country road we live on. (I'll leave the pun to your imagination here....)

At this point, he grabs a large 2x4 piece of wood from the back of his truck bed, and goes in search of this deer. I'm sitting in the passenger seat, my driveway in my sight, thinking that he's not going to do what I think he's going to do....and then he does it. He's wrestling with this large animal, whose legs were broken and would suffer a slow death. He then takes this 2x4, lifts it over his head, and (I look away,) but see him out of the corner of my eye repeatedly hitting it.

(Imagine if you will....if you were driving down this long road, see a truck pulled over on the side of the road with a toilet in the back, then see a 6'2" man beating something on the side of the road. Would you think you've lost your mind? Would you call the police?)

Yeah. No one intervened or called the police like I was so sure they would. Sure, they slowed down with the complete look of "what the holy hell is going on," but no one stopped. Thank the dear Lord. A few minutes later, I see my husband emerge from the ditch with this deer over his shoulders. He proceeds to throw it into the back of the truck with my new toilet. There's a sight you don't see everyday. Thankfully we were close enough to home that I'm sure not that many people saw that, but seriously, WHO does this happen to? Me.

I've never been so happy to have a boring Valentine's Day every year since. For reals.

Hi, I'm New Here.

My very first post on my very first blog- where the heck do I start??

This blog is dedicated to my favorite little boy in the whole entire world, Matthew James. He is stubborn, loving, smart, and down right hilarious. We can't help but laugh about the things that come out of his mouth.

He's always been a very literal child. When he was 2, I enrolled him in a "Little Dragon" taekwondo class at the school where I'm a 1st degree black belt. He didn't say a single word until after he was 2.5 years old, but he knew every thing we ever said. In class, the instructor would say "Ok, touch the mat!" (Of course meaning the taekwondo mat we were standing on.) Instead of touching the floor, he'd keep putting his hands all over himself, and it took us a few minutes to understood that since his name is Matthew, he thought HE was the "mat." After we stopped laughing, we had to start saying "floor mat."

Once he turned 3, he started putting 2 words together at a time, and he never looked back. Now it's sentences, run-on sentences, and he just never.stops.talking. Whether he's telling someone in public that Grandpa had to pee outside, or that Grandma made him write "I'm sorry" 10 times for not being nice, we hear it all. And now you will too. :)